An Autistic self-advocate addresses nine misconceptions about Autism

YennPurkis

In this post I address nine misconceptions around Autism as best I can in a short space.

“You don;t seem very Autistic to me. My nephew is Autistic and he can’t even get the bus.You go to work….”

While Autistic people often share a number of general characteristics, we are all individuals. Two Autistic people can be vastly different from one another. Autism is not a determinant of character or what path through life we may take. It is a different neurology, or a different way the brain is ‘wired’ to non-autistic people’s. Suggesting that someone is ‘not Autistic enough’ is highly insulting. Autistic people may have significant challenges which they manage well wiht strategies or they may keep their struggles hidden. Unless you are that person or live closely with them, you can’t really assess what their Autism means for them. And I really don’t enjoy having to…

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Reading Speed

I think we need to throw away that box people keep saying we should “think out of”…

Antleader's Journey

Holy crap, it has been a long time since I wrote a blog post!  But no matter, I’m back and want to write again.

I am not going to discuss what I’ve been up to since my last post, I’m going to do that at another time.  I want to discuss something that I kind of need to process right now.

I want to share what my dream job may be (it isn’t solid because I haven’t done it yet).  My dream job is to be an editor who reads other people’s stuff and helps make it the best it can be.  Another dream job is a professor of English, reading students’ papers and helping them write their best paper yet.  Another dream job is to be a freelance writer, who reads expectations and desires for the final outcome and delivering them.  But perhaps these are not to be.

A year…

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The Bank of Fucks: An Extended Economic Metaphor on Emotional Labor

Truer words were never spoken.

Dani Alexis

Reading this week has been all about emotional labor for me, starting with this piece by Jess Zimmerman at The Toast and continuing with this huge MetaFilter thread (which I am still reading, over a thousand comments in).  In both conversations, one suggested solution to the problem of disproportionately heaping uncompensated emotional labor onto one party in a relationship is to monetize it – to put in economic terms exactly what this work is worth.

This comment on MeFi by Meeks Ormand in particular got me thinking:

I’ve realized in reading this thread that I’ve had my own vocabulary and way of thinking about this for some time. Simply put, good will is a commodity and a perishable one at that. Every time you ask for a favor or someone’s time, you are spending it. Doing favors or giving someone your time accrues it. This helped me understand why I…

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Intolerance for mistreatment doesn’t make you incompetent

Life lesson – all the world’s a stage

Chavisory's Notebook

This article (content warning for literally every variety of abuse) is all over my news feed this week, and I’m not terribly close to the particular situation at hand, but I wanted to highlight something that was more obliquely addressed in the article than the acute issues of physical and sexual abuse.  (This is adapted from a previous Facebook post of mine.)

And because people on the inside never talked to people who had left, and because they were so inexperienced themselves, they thought that the way things were done at Profiles was the way theater was supposed to be. They weren’t paid because young artists were supposed to suffer for their art. They stayed up all night painting sets because young artists were supposed to be devoted. The interns worked full-time hours because Cox and Jahraus told them they were the “lifeblood” of the theater. The theater didn’t provide…

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You shall not pass!

Making Choices and being true

Autism and Expectations

I’ve been thinking a lot about the invisibility of autistic adults.

We see a lot of focus on autistic children, and getting them to adulthood with the skills they will need. And about parents of autistic children, and what they should do, and how they can be supported.

These things are important.

But it seems less fun, and less cause-worthy to talk about the adults with autism who are just getting on with it.

Many of us learn how to pass for normal. Some of us have jobs and relationships and our own homes. Many of us learned and followed the rules expertly.

We put the same effort into passing for normal as we do any of our hobbies.

And what reward to we get? Do we get to be normal? Do we get some ultimate joy out of pretending to be a neurotypical and keeping our inner-selves suppressed and…

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attention span

that cynking feeling

At a teacher training workshop I once attended, the facilitator advised that the activities within a lesson should last one minute for each year of age. In other words, those five-year-old kindergarteners could be expected to pay attention for five minutes before I needed to move on to something new.

Yesterday evening at the park, I watched a boy push his younger sister in a bucket swing. She must have been two or three. The older brother began with enthusiasm. “Whee!” he exclaimed with a grin as big as the girl’s.

Yet, as the minutes passed, I could tell he wanted to play with his peers. He slowed the swing to a stop and suggested, “Let’s find Mommy.” The girl jutted her right index finger to the sky and demanded, “Higher!” I watched this happen once, twice, three more times as my son pumped his legs on the swing beside her.

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twenty minutes

a diary of a mom

** A personal note to my dad – just in case you didn’t get my message, please DO NOT read what follows. **

Content warning: Rape / Sexual Assault

For “Emily”

Four years ago, I wrote a post about an event that had changed my life. I wrote it because I felt compelled to do so. Because, given what was happening at the time, I felt that my continued silence would make me actively complicit in perpetuating the culture that had allowed it to happen in the first place … and that had secured my secrecy for as long as it had.

It was a hard post to write, but it was no harder than living with the reverberations of what had happened 23 years earlier. Writing it, saying it out loud after all of that time, wasn’t, truth be told, cleansing nor healing as one might imagine, but it was necessary.

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