It’s been years since I last had a full-blown meltdown.
And that’s pretty amazing. They used to happen frequently — say, every other week or so, when I was in rough shape… every month or so, when I was more stabilized. I had a rich history of meltdowns, from childhood on. My mother (who had her own set of issues) used to provoke and push and pick at me when I was younger, till I’d lose it and completely freak out, screaming and crying from overwhelm. She was so calm about it all… saying one thing after another that confused and frustrated me, and not stopping even when I was standing in front of her crying.
Overload. Complete. Effing. Overload. Verbal confusion. Trying to figure out what to say next. Unable to respond. All the words in my head turned up-side down and backwards. Trying to get the words out…
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