I will not “calm down”

“Calm down”

“Don’t get so excited”

“Why are you getting so worked up? You can’t do anything about it.”

*****************************

I hate these sentences. Seriously.

When I was a kid, I think I was passionate. I don’t have a great memory of my younger years. But I remember hearing this in my tweens/teens. A lot.

How is that a good thing?

Where could that passion have taken me if it had been harnessed instead of squashed?

Well, it doesn’t matter. I found it. Better late than never. In my 4th decade of life, I found my voice. I found my passion. I found my drive.

I have to thank my husband and child for this. Hubby for giving me a safe space to grow in. And child for waking the “sleeping giant”.

I don’t know if it’s common to “wake up” when you have a child. But I know that when my “mama bear” woke up, she woke up not just for my kid, but for others who need a “mama bear” to rise up with and for them.

My Bu!!$#it filter has a VERY low threshold now. I used to “let things slide”, keep my mouth shut, keep my feelings to myself. I was a VERY quiet, “nice” person. I still am (at least my husband thinks so 😉

I’m not AS “nice” as I was. If “nice” is about keeping quiet, not getting excited, or worked up, or keeping “calm”.

No. I am NOT nice anymore.

I am powerful. I care deeply. I want to make a difference, even a small one, in the lives of others.

And I like it.

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