do you believe in your children?

A must read. Our children our not frozen in time. Assuming the future is foolish. Make room for progress, especially when it’s not at the speed considered “normal”. Instead of “I’ll believe it when I see it”, turn that around – You will See it when you Believe.

a diary of a mom

Ever read something, like it, move on, then read it again months later and be absolutely gobsmacked by it?

Ever, upon the second reading, realize that it will take a third and then a fourth, and heck, maybe a fifth because you are so compelled by its message that you have to be absolutely, positively sure that you’re not just reading it but absorbing it, internalizing it, incorporating it into who you are and what you do and how you move forward?

That’s what happened last week when, months after reading it for the first time, I stumbled across Sparrow Rose Jones’s post, Do You Believe In Your Children?

I asked Sparrow if she would consider allowing me to post it here and she kindly obliged. What follows is a post that I implore you to read slowly. And then read again. A post that I hope you’ll digest whole-heartedly without the impediments…

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wherever you are

It’s hard not to want to rush people on the journey to where you are. The journey is personal, and we must work to not scare others off the path when they’re not where we are.

a diary of a mom

Yesterday, I wrote a post detailing a conversation that I’d had with an autistic man regarding the Autism Acceptance magnet on the back of my car. If you haven’t yet read it, I’d be grateful if you’d take a moment to do so before continuing so that what follows will be in context. Read the post here.

My dear friend M at Invisible Strings left the following comment on that post:

i appreciate your willingness to interact with him the way you did. if this gentlemen were to go online, interact on blogs and social media, and express his current feelings…he would be shouted down, accused of being a terrible person for not being on board with the pride angle. some people get mired in depression and/or self-loathing…they internalize feedback from the rest of the world and end up believing that their differences are something to be ashamed of…

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Aspergers and Lack Of Awareness of Body Signals

Interoception issues – body/mind disconnect. VERY important to know about re. autism

Aspergers: Through My Eyes

One of my biggest fears is vomiting. I can deal with other peoples vomit but I cannot handle being sick myself. This is one of the reasons why I don’t drink alcohol. I am also paranoid about food poisoning. The reason why I am so terrified of being sick is because of the memory of the last time I was sick. I was thirteen years old and ironically was staying the night at my grandmother’s house to be there in case she needed anything as she lived alone and had just been discharged from hospital following an operation. I had a headache that evening so took some Nurofen before I went to bed. I can only assume that it was a reaction to the Nurofen that led to what happened next as I hadn’t been feeling unwell at all. After being asleep for just over an hour, I woke up…

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not enough

If only progress were a rolling snowball instead of a glacier moving.

a diary of a mom


{image is a photo of the Autism Acceptance magnet on the back of my car. I got it here.}

Please note: What follows is my best attempt to recall a fair amount of dialogue. While I’m pretty confident in my memory thereof, it’s certainly fallible. 

On the way back to work from Katie’s graduation yesterday, I stopped into the gas station (that’s petrol for you folks across the pond) to fill up. When I got out of the car and got started, the attendant came out and stood behind my car. “That’s weird,” he said.

I turned around to see to what it was that he was referring and was surprised when I followed his gaze to the Autism Acceptance magnet on the back of my car. I wondered if perhaps I’d misunderstood, so I asked, “What’s weird?”

“That,” he said, now pointing to the magnet. “I don’t understand that,” he added.

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On the topic of the Charleston massacre

Yes to everything ischemgeek wrote.


As I said on Tumblr, white people must not attempt to deny the racism of that action. White people must not scapegoat people with mental illness and refuse to take a good hard look at the culture that bred that hatred in the shooter. The Charleston massacre was not about mental illness, it was about racism and white supremacy.

Additionally, I would strongly recommend that anyone with the resources to do so donate to the families of victims and to the survivors, so that they do not have injustice compounded upon atrocity, and do not have that horrible crime ruin their finances in addition to hurting them, traumatizing them, and/or killing their loved ones.

Beyond that, this is not a time for me to be talking. Have some links to stuff written by people who should be talking at this time:

A final point: If any black…

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On collecting labels

Lack of knowledge/understanding of another person’s lived experience in no way invalidates that lived experience.

Chavisory's Notebook

The inspiration for this post emerged somewhat tangentially to an incident on Twitter several months ago, in which a pair of parent bloggers decided that publicly posting sensitive and humiliating information about their autistic teenager was a great thing to do for awareness. Plenty of other people wrote or responded to the inciting incident, so I don’t really feel the need to address it much further.

But something else happened in the aftermath that I actually do think deserves to be talked about more.  It’s not even really about autism or disability itself as much as it’s about language deprivation and identity and the denial of minority experiences as genuine.

In a comment on one of the early Facebook threads about this particular series of Twitter posts, I said to this couple, “You need to read up on what exposure anxiety is, and what its effects are.”  (Exposure anxiety

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