in this together

It’s not about us. It’s about doing right by others, exercising care, and accepting that we make mistakes when we don’t mean to. And when we make those mistakes, we do our best to own them and change, not defensively react. Hard, but necessary.

He wrote it down.

This has nothing to do with autism, but it was so very powerful; Trigger warning-sexual abuse of children

In Others' Words...

Our intention was to dance on his grave.

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My beautiful cousin, who I’d not seen in 35 years, and I set out to dance on our grandfather’s grave. Our first dilemma was, of course, song choice. You have to have the right song. We bandied a few song titles about, Alanis Morrisette was a front runner.

Obviously.

We drove to the town where he lived, and where he is buried. We drove to the town where we were abused. Driving down the picturesque New England roads, I felt a little faint. Mary felt a little barfy. We pulled into a store parking lot, and Mary spent some quality time behind a dumpster, hurling. It happens.

We weren’t entirely sure where the cemetery was, so we pulled into a police station to ask for directions. I said, jokingly, We should go in and file a police report. Mary said, What would…

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Sensory Assaults

Really important perspective – very vivid!

Emma's Hope Book

My friend Bridget wasn’t feeling great.  She felt off-balance and couldn’t walk and it was making it difficult for her to talk.  And then she told me the carpeting made her dizzy.  I hadn’t noticed the carpeting, but when she said this to me, I realized the pattern of the carpet was like an op-art nightmare, in sharp contrasting hues, the repetitive pattern was eye-catching and I suddenly wondered how I could have blocked it out.  But, you see, I had.  The carpet wasn’t a problem until she mentioned it and then I couldn’t not see it.  In addition, there was a plexiglass barrier that gave the sensation of being in an infinity pool, without any of the relaxation involved.  It was as though the carpeting spilled over the edge and disappeared into an abyss.  It was disconcerting and even frightening.

I held out the crook of my arm, the way a…

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I could use your help

If you have anything to share – please do!

Aspergers and Me

I posted this on facebook, but only a few of my facebook fans actually see any of my posts, so I’m putting this here too.

I could use your help!

I want to put together a post (which might become a page, if it works well) of various language codes used by general society. Some examples would be the “high, how are you?” ritual, which actually means “Hi, I acknowledge you as a person!” Or one I’ve only learned fairly recently: “I want to get to know you” is code for “I want to get into your pants/date you/etc.” I am from the US, so I don’t know if these are codes in other parts of the world.

Would you tell me any codes that you know, along with their translation, and the region of the world that it’s used in?

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Take a Seat (no, don’t).

Criptiques

chair w/ text that says I'm going to kill you

[Image of a blue, mod, comfy chair with black text that reads “I’m going to kill you”]

I have something important to tell you all. Are you sitting down?

Maybe it’s the anxiety disorder talking, but I can’t take another “Sitting Will KILL YOU!” article. They are everywhere. Google “sitting kills you” and you’re greeted with a zillion terrifying headlines and even scarier image results. In one image, a demonic black figure lurks menacingly behind a white chair, I mean deathtrap, as the text informs us that “sitting increases risk of death up to 40%.” I hate these cartoons. I hate these articles. I hate these pernicious reminders of what I’m often assured is an inevitable, untimely death, even if I exercise. Awesome.

I get it. I really really get it. I am one wheelchair slip-on-the-banana-peel away from the grave because I’m a professional, full-time sitter. I’ve been doing…

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The Horrifying Events that Changed A Young Man’s Life

Emma's Hope Book

There’s a young man, his name is Reginald.  Everyone calls him Neli.  He was on the high school wrestling team, wore a key on a chain around his neck, liked to hold three playing cards, loved his hoodie, repeated “television and movie lines out of nowhere” and carried a “string that he runs through his fingers.” He was described as being shy and he loved going to his local library, which was two miles from his home.  But one day none of that mattered.  One day someone saw Neli sitting on the grass outside the library waiting for it to open.  They called the police, reporting a “suspicious male, wearing a hoodie, possibly in possession of a gun.

Neli is black.

Neli is also Autistic.

All the schools within a few miles of the library “went on lockdown.”  SWAT teams were called in.  That’s at least five schools…

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(In)Dependent

Very important read. It speaks so well to assumptions, expectations, and judgments – and how significantly a difference in perspective changes them, for better or for worse…

Musings of an Aspie

A/N: This post is raw and more of a collection of thoughts than a coherent whole. I’m posting here as a signpost to myself. It’s definitely intended to be a comprehensive commentary on the subject of independence and disability. 

 I. Theory, Background, Questions and Concepts

What is the relationship between being dependent and being independent? Certainly not the opposites that we assume at first glance.

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There are common themes that you’ll encounter if you read enough autism parenting-related blogs and comments:

“My child is severely autistic and will never be able to live on their own.”

“My child is going to depend on me for the rest of their lives. They’ll never have the skills to live independently.”

The assumption that dependent and independent are opposing states is implicit in these types of statements. A person who lives on their own is considered independent by default; a person who needs…

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Miracle Murder Solution

Aspie Catholic

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One of the big reasons I despise the notion that autism is a disease is that when you have a disease, people will want a cure. Cures lead to people being desperate. And desperate people will try anything. You would think in an age like today’s, snake oil would be an antiquity of the 19th century. Sadly, you’d be wrong. Meet the Genesis II “Church”. The Genesis II “Church” peddles a “cure” called Miracle Mineral Supplement, aka MMS, AMS, or (and this name angers me the most) Jesus Drops. The Genesis II “Church”, despite its name has NOTHING to do with religion (hence the quote marks I’ve inserted)Yes, it has reverends, but unlike Christianity, these wolves in sheeps’ clothing have no training in the seminary. They just need enough money to bribe for the title.

The “Church” was founded by Jim Humble, who appointed himself “bishop”. There’s also Kerri Rivera…

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